TOMORROW

Anyone else? Do you put things off until tomorrow? Can you get borderline giddy by the thought of all you will accomplish tomorrow? Well, this one is for you…….

Tomorrow I will exercise. Rocky Balboa kind of exercise. I will push through with jaw-dropping stamina and determination. Sweat will drop from every pore. The flat stomach, toned arms and inevitable glow, will inspire everyone around me. My kids will adopt same healthy habits, so my star, as a parent, will shine even brighter. And forget about how sexy I will be.

Tomorrow will also be the day I start writing that book. Ah, the way I will handle the process, will be profound enough to make a movie about it. Such a shame Oprah doesn’t have her book club anymore. My book would definitely be on everyone’s lips. Is there anything higher than New York Times bestseller list? just saying. The writing will be a romanticized struggle. Hours staring at the blank page Just as I am about to buckle under the heavy depression (you know, the category of depression reserved for artists and creative thinkers) a sunbeam shines on a piece of lint on the desk. I will laugh for no reason, my writers block will disappear and I will write like a divine force is guiding my hand.

Oh, and tomorrow this house will be spotless. After that sex-appeal inducing exercise session and Hemingway like writing; I will not only clean this house, but also organize everything in this bitch.Every time someone needs a roll of Scotch Tape or tax returns from 6 years back…..BAM, I will know where it is. Don’t even get me started on whats going to happen to the fridge and the pantry. Nuts, noodles and grains in separate glass jars and canisters. Salad and vegetables pre-washed, chopped, diced and arranged to look like Panda Express’ fridge. Of course everything will be totally organic.

Naturally there will be that 30 minute window, where I will drop everything, sit criss-cross-applesauce, snap my fingers and go into a meditative state where my mind is totally void of thought. Nothing but energy will flow through me. I will enter the matrix and the vortex. You know, that Buddhist type, delta wave meditation, that makes you feel like you just had 8 hours of all REM sleep.

After that cosmic treat, I will start preparing snacks (healthy of course) for the kids who will be home from school shortly. First off, that wont be hard thanks to my Martha Stewart like organization. Secondly because my kids will only want healthy options, because I raised them right. I will also have prepared fun brain building exercises, games and worksheets for us to do together, because we just love learning. Once they are done with homework and extra credit work, we play outside. We play ball and build a fort using hammer, nails and old pieces of wood, because I am just an amazing parent that way. Later in life they will attribute their success to the loving, allowing nature of their mother.

No television will be turned on at night. Hubby and I will talk for hours about meaningful subjects, congratulate each other on how well we are doing on our budget and how we love, love, love not eating out and spending needlessly. While the kids are engrossed in their nightly 45 minutes of reading, I surprise my husband by taking him to the master closet to have mind blowing sex. It will be mind blowing A)because of my rocking body, B)because i do Kegels every time I am stopped at a red light, and C)because through meditation, I have learned to harness incredible vibrating energy. My husband will of course be beside himself. Naturally so, since his mind was just blown and in that state it’s hard to find your way back from Nirvana.

Yep, all this is going down TOMORROW……..